(from a few days ago, don't know the date) - Why I haven't been blogging much lately
Pt1- Sorry to be absent lately but I'm taking a bit of a break from blogging these last few days. Partly I'm doing it because my hosting provider (
Vagrant Hosting) is currently in the process of moving to a different server, so the fewer updates I make to this site over the next few days, the less work it'll be after the server change takes place.
The other reason I've not been doing much blogging is that I have been very depressed of late, particularly when I think at all about the horrible things that are happening in this world, particularly with the ongoing war in Iraq.
Pt2-Three things in particular have upset me of late from keeping up with the news (a habit that I think I need to break for the sake of my mental health):
First, the recent surge in American casulaties. It just seems like such a waste to me, a senseless sacrfice of our young men and women that will bear in fruit in fatherless children, grieving parents and brokenhearted spouses. All of the good that those soldiers could have done with their lives is all gone.
This picture in particular grabbed me when I looked at the newspaper this morning: (Click to view in another winder) - U.S. Marines pray over a fallen comrade at a first aid point after he died from wounds suffered in fighting in Fallujah, Iraq, Thursday, April 8, 2004. (Photo: AP). Why? Why? Why?
Second, the recent slaughter of Iraqi civilians. I would like to know why these children had to die (warning - graphic pictures are in this story). There is no ****ing reason. Not one. Why is our country doing this... and more importantly why is God letting America get away with it? --- seeing things like this makes me feel more and more like a Deist. I find it increasingly difficult to believe in a God that is active in this world today if He lets things like this occur.
Last, reading this interview with an anonymous American medic who is currently serving in Iraq just appalls me. I don't want to be hateful (even to our leaders who I think are responsible for the death and carnage that never should have happened) so I won't comment on the story. I do think it is a story worth reading though. We need to hear more voices from those who are having to fight this stupid war.
All of this is just too much. I don't know what to do and I don't think there is anything that can be done. I wish I had more faith in God right now and I wish that God would show us all how to rid this world of all of the evil and death...
That's enough theological questioning for now I guess. It has been brewing for awhile now and I needed to to write it down to be able to keep going. (sometimes just writing my doubts helps me to go on and keep believing in what I can still believe in, and more importantly act on that faith) Maybe it is not God that has failed us but rather my conceptualization of how God works has failed me. I don't know.
Well besides all of this life has been ok lately. Spring has definitely sprung here in Oklahoma and it has been glorious. I've been stuck inside a lot lately but I'm going to enjoy the time off I have from work this weekend to revel in it some. I desperately need to do some weeding in my garden tomorrow and hope to get to hangout with a friend some. Then on Sunday it'll be Easter which should be a really good day. (very much looking forward to our church service that Sunday and to getting to spend time with my family that afternoon)
School-wise things are going ok. I finished my appellate brief on Wednesday so things will be much more sane for the next week or so before I start my finals study crunch. --- On a sidenote, I did get to speak at the law school as a part of the political involvement roundtable sponsored by the Federalist Society. I was there for the Oklahoma Green Party. My friend Chris Powell was there for the Libertarian party, and there were two other folks there for the Republican and Democratic parties respectively... the event itself was really good and one that we can do again. It is amazing to me how much common ground politically involved people have, even when they have different party labels.
Oh this coming up Monday will be a big day at OCU Law as we're having our special Centennial Convocation where US Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor will be speaking!
Well that's all for now. I'll start posting again with gusto after the server change takes place. Sorry to sound so depressed but that is just how I am right now. My life seems to be riding on a see-saw between joy and despair. I'm just trying to stay on the seat and not fall off.
